Likability

Updated 14-Sep-2023

Encouraging others to like you (not the Facebook kind) is about social signals and communication.

Interesting how books that provide instruction on how to be liked, or how to win friends and influence people, are so culturally constrained. Behavior advocated in those books simply would not work in Thailand. Not only are the social signals different, but establishing rapport and gaining access to resources (which is the ultimate goal of being liked) has a very different structure and protocol. That said, we can abstract a bit to reduce the set of behavior into a cross-cultural (content-free) mode:

Social Signals and Communication Elements

  • Eye contact or not, degree and timing
  • Smile or no smile (kind of smile)
  • Leaning forward or back, personal space
  • Greeting volume, tone, language and timing
  • Synchronization behavior (matching other person's posture and behavior)
  • Conversational skill, topics
  • Control over own cheerfulness
  • Know what you want (out of a person, situation)